Indonesia Negeri Kaya

Analisis Denny Indrayana
Indonesia Negeri Kaya Nihil Dosa
Denny Indrayana – detikcom
 
Jakarta – Siapa bilang Indonesia miskin-papa. Salah besar, bohong benar. Indonesia negara kaya-raya. Negeri makmur-subur, damai-sentosa. Indonesia hanya pura-pura miskin: pura-pura banyak utang; pura-pura banyak teroris; pura-pura banyak masalah. Sejatinya, Indonesia adalah negara paling bahagia di seluruh dunia, di seantero jagat raya.
 
Dunia yang mengira Indonesia miskin, tertipu. Mereka hanya melihat kulit, tidak melihat isi. Dunia terpana tampilan luar fisik Indonesia yang coreng-moreng-bopeng, padahal itu hanya topeng. Sebenarnya Indonesia bukan negeri gepeng — gelandangan-pengemis — tapi bangsa yang keren-mentereng. Tak percaya? Simak saja bagaimana harga minyak dikerek menyamai harga di pasaran dunia, bukankah itu artinya daya beli masyarakat Indonesia pun seharusnya setara dengan negara hebat lainnya?
 
Meski mengirim babu ke manca negara, itu bukan berarti kita berkasta sudra. Justru sebaliknya, Indonesia itu negeri luar biasa kaya-raya. Buktinya, punya utang US$ 134,9 miliar pada akhir 2003, tenang-tenang saja. Malah unjuk gigi berutang lebih banyak lagi. Agar negara kaya senang hati. Indonesia itu pura-pura miskin, untuk berbaik budi, sebagaimana praktik yang diajarkan para sufi.
 
Indonesia itu bangsa emas. Hanya emaslah yang terus diuji, diasah. Kalau batu cadas, ketemu langsung dibuang. Indonesia emas, bukan cadas. Indonesia adalah jamrud khatulistiwa. Meski dimana-mana ada bencana. Itu semua bukan laknat. Itu semua nikmat, berkat yang diturunkan dalam bentuk yang tidak memikat.
 
Tsunami di Aceh, itu nikmat. Longsor dimana-mana itu rahmat. Demam berdarah, flu burung di seantero nusantara, itu berkat. Kalau pemerintah negeri lain pasti kalang-kabut menghadapi itu semua, pemerintah Indonesia, santai dan damai-damai saja. Sama tenangnya dengan kebanyakan televisi yang tetap sarat menyajikan hiburan ala goyang pantat dan acara-acara yang mengumbar syahwat.
 
Mau tahu resepnya Indonesia begitu hebat? Hanya satu kata: TAAT. Pemimpin Indonesia semua terhormat-bermartabat. Bayangkan, koruptor di Indonesia itu agamanya luar biasa kuat. Sekelas Kiai yang tak jua mau bertobat meski menilep dana alokasi umat. Itu maknanya, agama difahami amat hakiki, sesuai nilai dasarnya saja. Agama itu ada, dikala orang tidak perlu mengingatnya. Orang yang beragama, tidak perlu selalu pamer keberagamaannya. Jika perlu, pura-pura saja lupa. Sholat-puasa biasa, korupsi juga jalan apa-adanya.
 
Pokoknya Indonesia itu tidak bisa dilihat dengan mata biasa. Adanya, seperti tiadanya. Yang kelihatan, belum tentu yang kenyataan. Indonesia itu negeri paling sufi. Buktinya Amerika Serikat sang Adi Daya saja di subsidi kehidupannya oleh masyarakat miskin di ujung Papua. Gunung emas di Timika diberikan secara nyaris cuma-cuma di tengah banyak masyarakat puncak Jaya Wijaya yang tak putus dirundung nestapa, apalagi setelah kerusuhan di Abepura.
 
Australia adalah negara super lain yang paling tahu bagaimana bersahajanya politik Indonesia. Demi persahabatan antar dua negara, Indonesia rela dikira tak punya daya upaya. Berbilang kali Australia bermain-main dengan harga diri bangsa, tetapi pemerintah Indonesia tetap saja bermanis muka. Karenanya, kemarahan pemerintah Indonesia akibat pemberian visa kepada pencari suaka dari Papua hanya dibalas Australia dengan pandangan sebelah mata. Seandainya dengan negara lain, Australia pasti sudah disumpahi tak setia, ibarat TTM, teman tapi monyong kelakuannya.
 
Indonesia adalah negeri tanpa dosa. Hanya di negeri ini koruptorpun dihormati dan diberi fasilitas hidup layaknya di surga. Tak mengherankan lebih dari 1200 orang pejabat negara betah saja diperiksa sebagai tersangka maupun terdakwa. Bahkan KPK yang seharusnya menjadi panglima angkatan perang bersenjata, penyidiknya pun terperangkap penyakit korupsi yang memang terlanjur merajalela.
 
Korupsi. Agaknya memang praktik itulah yang di Indonesia tidak pernah dianggap dosa. Terutama bagi para petinggi negara. Tengok saja, ada empat wilayah yang tetap bebas melakukannya, yaitu: Istana, Cendana, Senjata dan Pengusaha Naga. Di ke empat ranah itu, hukum hanya pajangan semata dan tidak berdaya melawan praktik nista para pelaku mafia. Komisi Yudisial yang mencoba-coba berlaga harus berhadapan para hakim agung yang tebal muka, buta mata-buta hatinya. Perorangan yang mencoba-coba mengangkat suara akan dengan mudah dibuat tiada, semudah arsenik menyatu dengan jiwa-raga bersahaja Munir yang kasusnya hingga kini tak tentu ujung rimbanya.
 
Hukum rimba itulah memang yang nyata hadir di bumi persada. Hukum yang menghamba sahaya kepada para penguasa dan penyandang dana. Hukum yang lupa akan tugas utamanya untuk membawa kabar bahagia kepada siapa saja, tak perduli apa posisinya. Hukum yang berbeda perlakuannya ketika berhadapan dengan para elit atau kawula alit. Hukum yang tebang pilih kasih. Hukum yang menebas para kopral tapi melepas para jenderal. Hukum yang sarat dengan praktik nista mafia peradilan.
 
Karena semua kemunafikan itu, di negeri jamrud khatulistiwa ini sewajibnya hadir kekhawatiran nyata. Karena tanpa tindak segera, negeri ini tak akan bertahan lama. Negeri yang kaya harta tapi miskin harga diri bangsa. Rasa kebangsaan ber-Indonesia berada di persimpangan antara (ti)ada dan tiada. Sejujurnya, Indonesia memang kaya tapi terkena kutukan menjadi sudra dunia karena tak pernah merasa korupsi itu adalah dosa yang teramat nyata.
 
Keterangan Penulis:
Denny Indrayana, Doktor Hukum Tata Negara, Ketua Pusat Kajian Anti Korupsi UGM, Direktur Indonesian Court Monitoring.
 
 

The Chef is Dead!

The Great “South Park” Chef Roast

By Steve Taylor

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Matt Stone and Trey Parker have taken another shot in the war with Isaac Hayes and Scientology. In the Season 10 premiere, entitled “The Return of Chef”, Stone and Parker try to deal with Isaac Hayes’ departure from the show, and the loss of the voice of Chef. The best way the South Park creators found to do this? Kill off Chef.

There was a huge buzz over what Matt Stone and Trey Parker would do with their season premiere (see South Park Keeps Chef). After the announcement that Chef would be in the season premiere of South Park, everyone wanted to know the closely guarded secret of who would play his voice and how long he would be around for. Last night’s season premiere on Comedy Central gave us the answer.

It turns out the voice of Chef was…Isaac Hayes. By using lines from old South Park episodes, Matt Stone and Trey Parker were able to piece together enough material to keep Isaac Hayes for one more episode.

The South Park episode has Chef returning after leaving South Park to join the Super Adventure Club. However, Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Kenny McCormick and Kyle Broflovski quickly lose their excitement of seeing Chef when they realize he has been brainwashed by the Super Adventure Club and has been turned into a pedophile. As The Washington Post reports, Stan, Eric, Kenny and Kyle become curious when Chef says to them, “‘”How about I meet you guys after work and we make love . . . come on children, you’re my sexual fantasy, let’s all make sweet love.’ Those are the printable things, anyway.” It’s no stretch of the imagination that the Super Adventure club is a thinly-veiled reference to South Park‘s most recent enemy, Scientology. Matt Stone and Trey Parker never actually mentioned Scientology throughout “The Return of Chef”.

The South Park boys then take Chef to a psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist tells Eric, Kenny, Kyle and Stan that Chef is suffering from heavy brainwashing. This was a subtle dig at Scientology, as Scientologists do not look highly upon psychiatrists. The kids then try to de-program Chef by taking him to a strip club. They manage to succeed, but the Super Adventure Club won’t give up that easily. The Super Adventure Club hits Chef with darts, and Chef is brought back to their headquarters to re-commence the brainwashing.

Kyle, Kenny, Stan and Eric Cartman aren’t discouraged, and follow the Super Adventure Club member make to their hideout. Along the way, the kids find out what the real secrets of the group are. As The Washington Post puts it, “The boys follow and learn the secret of the Super Adventure Club, founded by a guy who was an explorer, only every time he got someplace he discovered someone had beat him there. So he decided to become the first explorer to have sex with the native children in the various remote locations, which he felt would make him immortal.”

After de-programming Chef and getting him out of the complex, Kenny, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Chef cross a rope bridge over a ravine. While the kids make it across, Chef stops on the bridge, and is called out to by the Super Adventure Club followers. While trying to make a decision, the rope bridge is struck by lightning and Chef burns and falls to his doom, and is impaled on the way down, not to mention the fact he is attacked by a lion and a grizzly bear.

To quote Stan Marsh, “Oh my God, they killed Chef!”

Apparently, it’s not all animosity from Matt Stone and Trey Parker towards Isaac Hayes. At Chef’s memorial service, Kyle Broflovski gave a eulogy. The Chicago Tribune quoted the entire eulogy.

“A lot of us don’t agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days. Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can’t let the events of the last week take away the memories of how much Chef made us smile. I’m going to remember Chef as the jolly old guy who always broke into song. I’m going to remember Chef as the guy who gave us advice to live by.”

This episode, and even this eulogy, gave closure to Isaac Hayes’ resignation from South Park last week (See Isaac Hayes Quits South Park). Isaac Hayes left the show, citing the show’s religious intolerances. While the show has mocked various religions over it’s nine-year tenure, it is believed Isaac Hayes was balking at the episode “Trapped in the Closet”, which poked fun at Scientology and famed Scientologist Tom Cruise (See South Park Battles Scientology, Tom Cruise). Hayes is also a Scientologist.

One of the repercussions to the battle is that fans of South Park have threatened to boycott Tom Cruise’s summer blockbuster, Mission: Impossible 3. With South Park‘s viewers falling into the same target demographic as Mission: Impossible 3, the threat may not be an idle one. All of this only stands to hurt Viacom, which is the parent company to Comedy Central, the network showing South Park, and Paramount, the company releasing Mission: Impossible 3.

http://www.thedeadbolt.com/news/555555/chefroast.php

[Additional Sources: Washington Post, Chicago Tribune]

 

Chef Died!

Oh no, they killed Chef
by DAVID BAUDER

ISAAC Hayes’s Chef character got a true South Park send-off – seemingly killed off but mourned as a jolly old guy whose brains were scrambled by the “Super Adventure Club”.

The thinly disguised satire broadcast on Wednesday night in the US continued the cartoon’s feud with Scientologists.

The soul singer has voiced the Chef character in South Park since 1997, but left recently because of what he called the animated show’s religious “intolerance and bigotry”. Founders Matt Stone and Trey Parker said that Hayes, a Scientologist, was angry that South Park mocked the religion in an episode last November.

Hayes did not participate in making Wednesday’s episode; the character’s lines appeared to be patched together through tapes of past dialogue.

The children try to rescue Chef, but in the end he turns to head back to the “Super Adventure Club” – until he falls off a bridge on to rocks, is burned, stabbed and mauled by a mountain lion and bear.

Then he apparently dies.

[source]

Doraemon Theme Song

konnakoto ii na (aku ingin begini)
dekitara ii na (aku ingin begitu)
konna yume (ingin ini)
anna yume (ingin itu)
ippai arukedo (banyak sekali)

minna! minna! minna! (semua! semua! semua!)
kanaete kureru (dapat dikabulkan)
fushigi na pokke – de kanaete kureru (dapat dikabulkan – dengan kantong ajaib)

sora wo jiyuuni tobitaina! (aku ingin terbang bebas di angkasa)
“HAI! TAKEKOPUTA!” (HAI! baling-baling bambu!)

an an an tottemo daisuki (na na na aku sayang sekali)
Doraemon
an an an tottemo daisuki (na na na aku sayang sekali)
Doraemon

take = bambu. takekoputa = take-copter = bambu-copter.
fushigi = ajaib. fushigi na pokke = pocket ajaib.

Ijazah tetap perlu!

Saya punya kenalan, dulu dia udah kerja sebelum lulus kuliah. Dia bilang buat apa ijazah, yang penting kan udah bisa kerja.

Lima tahun kemudian perusahaan tempat dia kerja bangkrut. Abis itu dia susah cari kerja, karena cuma punya ijazah SMA doang. Nyari sini nyari sana, akhirnya dapet kerja juga sih, tapi digaji setara lulusan SMA doang.

Anda nggak pingin kayak gitu kan? Jika memang sudah masuk kuliah, cobalah selesaikan sampai dapat ijazah. Kalau memang nggak merasa mampu di jurusan tsb, segera cari jurusan yang anda rasa mampu selesaikan sampai dengan dapat ijazah.

Mungkin saat kuliah tidak dirasa perlu. Nanti 5-10 tahun lagi baru terasa perlunya.